When are you Moving Your Chair?

An interesting story. Couple of days back, I met up with an old school friend. Talking about everything and nothing in particular, the discussion lazily drifted to how he is stuck in his career and unable to find a way out.The heart wants to escape the 9 to 5 job and do something that he really loves, the mind enjoys the security of assured income, the pride of a good position & role. He is worried about how he will cope up… how will his family take it… what will his friends think… and will he be able to make it to the other side?

Most people face such dilemmas in their lives. Unsure how to take a big step and steer their personal / professional lives into a new direction, or stay in the secure comforts of a cozy life that gives everything except happiness!! It could be that courage to speak up to a tough boss or partner… or breaking that habit of procrastination… or taking control of your relationships… or doing what your heart feels without worrying about what the world would say.

It takes a while, but people eventually realize that control over self comes from completely trusting yourself. Trusting yourself to be able to deliver to your own promise to self – not others. Now…take a deep breath and ask: “Do you trust YOURSELF to be able to deliver that goal your heart yearns to pursue?”. I am sorry to say, but don’t be surprised to hear a “No” from your unconscious.

So what options do you have, when your unconscious cannot trust you to deliver what you really want to do? Unfortunately you have lived your entire life, learning to doubt yourself. It has been a long and continuous process of brainwashing by your teachers, parents, friends and seniors. And that means, it will take conscious efforts and time to regain that trust back. And the best part is, it is easy to win back your faith in yourself, perhaps in tenth of the time it took to learn to doubt yourself.

Listen to my words carefully and read them again and again. You begin to trust yourself when you TALK WHAT YOU THINK and then DO WHAT YOU TALK. I encourage you to read this again, then cross your hand on your heart and ask, “Do I have the courage to talk my thoughts out and then DO what I say I will? And once that happens, no matter what the outcome is, you will have begun to instil faith in yourself.

But then, having lived your entire life learning to doubt yourself, do you think your unconscious can trust you right away to let you pursue those big goals? I suspect no. The fall out of pursuing such a behaviour (talking your mind out and then doing what you say), could often be appalling or overwhelming, right? And that’s the reason why our dreams remain, well, dreams. For example, being able to stand up for yourself in the face of criticism, or, saying no to a one-sided relationship and walking out of it, though examples of wonderful goals, demand incredible self-confidence and self-trust. Before letting you get a free hand at working on those big-ticket items, your unconscious mind wants PROOF that you can be trusted to deliver your promises. So, whilst most of us can immediately see several such areas in our life, taking up such ‘high-profile’ goals is probably the last place to start.

On the contrary, a good way to build that trust within yourself – to be able to say what you think and do what you say – is to start with the small, not-so-significant things in life. For instance, the next time when you feel like watching a particular TV program, SAY it to your friends/ family and THEN DO IT by switching the channel to that program… or when you would like to eat a particular dish, SAY that you are going to order it and THEN DO IT by ordering on the menu. OR, when you feel like sitting on a chair, SAY it aloud to others and THEN PULL THE CHAIR and sit on it.

It works like this: when you SAY that you will move your chair and DO IT by pulling it towards you and sitting on it, that YOUR unconscious mind begins to smile and warm up to the fact that you can be trusted with the bigger challenges in life. And whether you consciously notice it or not, deep inside there will be a feeling of goodness that begins to encourage you to take this experiment further into slightly bigger and more significant matters…and so on…until you might one day realise that this has become a part of your confident personality that operates in almost every area of your life !!!